Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Yes, I Have a Degree. No, I'm Not Gonna Go to Your School.

In the constant pursuit of  a day job, I utilize a bazillion online job-finding search engines.  They come in such infinite variety--from creating social-centric profiles, to just having a list of available openings.  However, there is one thing they all share in common, the ever present school-outreach pages. 

I skip them.  They still call. 

I have a BA, so that means that technically I shouldn't qualify for Financial Aid, even at a  Junior College.  Let's set aside the fact that I have no income, and that my income of the past 3 years (all those odd jobs) has remained under 20k (for all 3 years)...I'd  be lucky if my combined income of the past 3 years made 15k. 

A little too personal?  Sorry.  Accumulated frustration. 

Even if I wanted to go back to school, I'd have to get a private loan.  I don't want to be in debt for the rest of my life.  I don't want to take out another loan. 

If I did get a loan, I'd feel like I'd be gambling with my future.  I'd be expecting this magical new degree to get me a job.   Sacramento, where I live, is especially hard-hit by this recession.  We're a Sate Capitol of a State where entire cities are on the verge of bankruptcy. So why should I anticipate that the degree would pierce through this job-shortage curtain?

California, like the Federal Government, has functioned on deficits for years.  The culmination of these years means that the state isn't hiring in the frequency required to maintain the capitol's economy. 

The obvious answer: Move.

The San Fransisco Bay Area has the healthiest economic region in California.  I apply to work there as much as possible.  But just like Sacramento employers, there are no calls for interviews.  Or few enough to count (I tend to average 3 interviews a year, but I haven't gotten a call for one since April 2011).

And I have it all worked out:  I apply for work in the SF Bay Area, get a call, take Amtrack and crash with a friend living in the Bay.  Same goes for the Silicon Valley.  I have the friends I'd call in favoroites on my cell, in the hopes someone calls.

This is just for an interview!  Not even a job.

Then there's the whole moving thing.  We just moved.  The account is diminished enough that we will need relocation assistance in this eventuality.

Oh, but I would do it--just to be able to have ends meet, to feel like something other than a failure.

Every time these schools call, they hammer home my humiliation.  They bring my insecurities to the forefront, by reminding me that I really and truly can't go back to school.  I need work to afford school, so I can't look to go back to school to get work.

A very Catch 22 situation.     


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