Sometimes, people are especially hard to deal with. And the closer they are the harder when stress and friction hit. Lately, I've been butting heads with my mom, but moving and stressing and whatever, I've tried to put the whole thing with her on the back burner and prioritize my life so I could handle what was before me and keep plunging on.
But it caught up to me yesterday and now I'm a mess. I can only tell myself that when the pain abates, this is one more complicated human interaction that will inform more realistic character development. But that level of detachment is hard to maintain.
My ability to handle BS is evaporating, and I'm to the point where I need to start limiting my exposure to it. Again.
I forewent blogging about all of this stuff, because I feel that the internet community at large is kinda anti-negativity. I feel like there's an unspoken agreement to be silent if you have nothing upbeat to talk about. But I also remember working at Starbucks and my shift lead in the morning telling me "People appreciate honesty. If you're grumpy, tell 'em," and I'm tired of acting like I'm the only one stressed out by these last few years. To me, that's what silence says: "No one will understand, so I should just bury it." But I'm not alone. Others do understand. If I write out my thoughts, well, I'm writing. If I don't, I'm silent. And I'm not writing.
So here I am, laying it out there.
I hope that as my life settles, I'll have more upbeat topics. But right now--this is what is going on. I'm getting my life together, by sheer force of will.
Got to catch my breath. Write. Read. Live.
And a trip with a good friend to a new Choclotier, Ginger Elizabeth, did wonders when I was seriously down last night. These little chocolates are an intense explosion of decadent yummy-ness. Ginger Elizabeth Hahn (store owner) apparently made the top 10 for North American choclotiers by Dessert Professional Magazine.
For anyone who ever makes a stop by Sacramento, this little chocloterie is a must. :) i can't wait till I get a chance to go back, at least for the hot cocoa-- which is amazing.