Focussing On One Thing: IWSG

One month later... and another IWSG post where we share insecurities and successes, month by month.  See what it's all about and all the awesome people who participate over at Alex J. Cavenaugh's site here.

Last month I talked about finishing things and posting more on my blog.  Well, posting has been lax.   I've been unpacking, organizing and working.  All of these things are good for the soul, I think.

My situation currently isn't a spectacular one. So much is still terribly chaotic. However, I have had an overwhelming sense of starting fresh this move--despite any of the less desirable particulars.

My job is amazing.  Being surrounded by books has helped me recommit myself to reading all the wonderful books I have on my shelf, but have, somehow, not quite read.  It has also done wonders for my self-esteem to realize how many different topics and books I can talk to my customers about.  Somehow, I had lost sight of these and drowned in self-criticism.

Does my writing suffer the same?

Likely.  I think that some years ago, when I successfully finished some (now shelved) manuscripts, I had found the means to focus on one thing.  Indecision and insecurity go hand in hand and I find all these ways to justify juggling multiple projects without finishing one.

I get close, at Nano, to finishing something. But I suppose at the moment it might take me two months of laser-focus to produce a rough draft.  I think that will be my goal this month, suppressing distraction and focusing on a single project.Then, perhaps, by the end of April I will have a completed draft.

So I suppose that's a goal that I can set and monitor each month with these posts.

All Moved! So What's on the table?

The boxes are being unpacked and I am somehow beginning to make sense of chaos.  I am enjoying my job, but now that the holidays are over it is turning into a very part-time position.  Which is okay, of course.  It just means I need more work *sobs.*

I am working on Silver Mask, again.  but I'm backtracking a touch and developing characters that I thought I had a handle on but who have changed in this draft.  So, I'm spending more time with them.

Also, my guy got me involved in the community behind a not-yet-released game.  And I'm loving the creativity, the people, and the idea behind this game.  So I'm working om my own character and that has meant doing some scifi writing.  Not usually my forte, but hey,I like trying new things.

In other news, it's lemon season again and I love lemon season.  Lemon bars, lemon poppy seed scones, lemon pepper chicken... and that's just for starters.

I will be posting fiction on my shiny new wordpress... and then I'll link to it from here :)

IWSG: Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!  Here's another edition of IWSG: where we post our insecurities about writing and our goals. and this year, at least, I think my year is started off right!

While, yes, I will be moving yet again, and my laptop officially died, I achieved some pretty notable things in my non-writing life this holiday season: 

I got a job!-- in a bookstore!

I began attending a really awesome writing group!

My guy repaired an old laptop for my use (old laptop that is newer than the one that just died) and got me a laptop table/desk to make my habit of writing-on-the couch more comfortable. 

okay.. wait.. I suppose all of these things will be impacting my writing.  

The greatest benefit is that I am happy, positive,and everything seems doable.  

Which means I get to address my main writing insecurity this year: finishing something.  

That's my goal: finish the novella, and at least one of the two novels that I'm working on.  Edit and post short stories for sale.  And this year I will return to blogging whole heatedly , rather than sporadically writing short little posts.  I like deadlines, I like goals. So I'm going to work really hard at keeping myself to them this year.  

Why do I have a problem finishing things?  

I think it's just been a matter of discipline, honestly.  I need to return to being disciplined.  But I know that everything I required to help lift me from my mental fog--I now have it.  So I should be able to finish something this year, because I should (after this next move) be able to return to a disciplined and structured life.  

But when i let something sit long enough the characters change in my head, and then the plot shifts.  I know I have to write quickly to finish something, and taht based on whatever else i have in my life fast is relative.  But I suppose after the move my days off should include marathon writing sessions. I need to get ahead of the thoughts, the planning, the characters.  

I think this makes me a pantser, for all my carefully arranged plots, characters timelines and dictionaries... when it gets down to it, I write in a very stream-of-consciousness manner. Everything formal, I guess, comes in a revision.  Which...is a whole different skill that I am working on mastering and has come with its own insecurities (or developed them, more likely) -- which I can elaborate on next month!

What was the hardest writing project you ever completed (or had a hard time completing)?

  

Been Sick

I missed posting Wednesday  because I was down with  a flu.  I also have a blog hop to post soon.  Beginning to feel better!  So more posting will come soon.

Until then!

News!

So I am not finishing Nano but I have a good reason!  I got work.  Yes, I did.  This past week I've been working not just one job, but two!  See that?  That is accomplishment!

I was looking back on my posts and thinking "damn, I got kinda depressing in there!" Didn't mean to.  It's  a problem with being honest. I am a little too straightforward, sometimes.  All the time.  I guess it's my dysfunction.  We all have a little, right?

However!  I worked two 8 hour days, on my feet, outside in the rain and came home and wrote.  Both nights.  

Oh, man that felt good.

I don't even care that I didn't reach 50k words.  I worked--minimum wage? --who cares? I worked.  And it felt good.  It *feels* good, to know that I am bringing in  a little moolah.

Makes me feel more in control of...everything.

So I'm working on the Dezzy story.  Yes, that's shifting gears from the Nano project.  The two actually have very different styles of writing (why the hell???) Sometimes, they just come out that way.

Or, other possibility, it's all in my head.

I will finish the Nano novel!  But... not being rushed, I might just write and write and write.  It might be longer than 50k words.

Yeah... that's my problem... epics.  I write epics.  Sometimes short novels seem out of reach.  Novels turn into epics.  Short stories turn into novellas.  It's my life.  Or my writing, take your pick--it's true in either.

I'm gushing.  Life feels good.  Returning to writing fiction now--

IWSG Post

My life is much the same, I am still applying for work, and that on-going effort has continued to make me very insecure and feed my self doubt.  But I decided to participate in Nanowrimo, and this project has given me a healthy obsession.

I have surpassed 16000 words on my Nano-novel and it feels great!

Focusing on this project has made me feel that I can achieve things, again.  The outpouring of support and likes I have received on Facebook has kept me motivated and dedicated to reaching my goals.  I know I need more positive affirmation sometimes than a person should rightfully expect from their friends and family, especially when so much of my life feels like a train wreck.

I used to use my writing to cope.  But the guilt I can come to associate with doing something I "want" to do over "need," to do gets in the way of me achieving anything in my writing.

So Nano has been the perfect excuse to lay the demons to rest.

I even handled an interview with a far more level headed approach than the previous ones -- about a year ago.   Still didn't get the position, but I haven't let that devastate me, either.

I am killing off characters in this draft, which is new for me. Destroying fictional people is a fine alternative to wallowing.  

No wallowing.

Just another 3k words today and a few applications off in the mail....

Yes, that is positive achievement.

In other notes:  I've been working on getting my blog into some shape that I *like* and the last few templates have been buggy.  As you can see, this one si not perfect either.  I've already started piling through the codes and trying to translate bits of it... Though I would also be open to assistance/advice as to how to get the day/post title to *Not* overlap.

Please inform me if you spot any other issues (and good tutorials  as to how to fix issues are also welcome).

 

  

Less Buggy Template? + Nano

I loved the colors in the other one, but this template is hopefully less buggy.  As I launched into Nano I realized that I would not have much time to work on the web coding.

I see this still has a few things that need fixing.  I'll get on that :)

In other news, Nanowrimo is going well.  I've successfully managed about 3k words a day.  One day I did more, as  I was unable to get *any* writing done on the 2nd, as I had an interview! (Yay!) Though no job offer :(

Still, at least I'm getting a good amount of writing done.

Wrapping up chapter 3 and plunging into 4, I'm hoping to reach 16000 words today.