Through high school, I tried to write a rough draft. But I was torn in too many directions! The world(s) I had built were too complicated and I was never satisfied with what I was producing. So I never completed a draft.
Then when I was 17, I decided I would. I would put nose to the grind stone and just do it. And I did. It was bad. After revising, rewriting, editing... I shelved it. I finished 3 more rough drafts, each full length manuscripts, before I finally transferred to a University. Life hit..
And with Nanowrimo, I remember... really remember...a few things.
1) I am obsessive when in a writing phase.
2) If anything distracts me, my distraction becomes a new obsession
3) I am fully capable of placing my butt on the couch and writing
4) I don't believe I'm fully capable of placing my butt on the couch and writing
5) I am my own worst enemy
6) I gotta ignore my inner skeptic, and just DO IT
7) A boyfriend who nags me to complete self-set goals is a blessing I should never take for granted.
8) I need people around me who encourage me and believe in me, because sometimes believing in myself seems harder than it should be.
9) I'm lucky to have people around me who encourage, pester, and believe in me.
10)I think, even if I still have to complete my project, Nanowrimo was the perfect cure to my off-and-on dry spell.
Blaming Life is wrong. It is my decision to do or not. It is my decision to manage my time, or let it slip from me. It is my responsibility to listen to the advice I give myself. After all, I set the goals and tell myself what to do, because once upon a time when I was a bit more brash I discovered these truths. I was stubborn and perhaps not as knowledgeable about how to build characters and plot, or pull together a story. But I knew how to force myself to achieve self-ascribed goals.
Nanowrimo reminded me of what I once understood.